The poster

I'm walking very carefully in the sleepy town. The night has turned everything black and white. I do not want to make noise. I don't want to get caught.
I want something that I shouldn't take, my Holy Grail.
I see it in the distance. I go through small streets and back alleys, making sure I don't loose sigh of it. It's up there, hanging from a pole like a pub sign, beautiful.
I get as close as I can. People are strolling along the shops. I need to rush before anybody sees me. In one jump I grab it and pull it down with me. The Dylan Moran poster.
I have to run, fast! People noticed the poster is now missing and alerted the police. I enter a backpackers’ house and walk up the fly of stairs as fast as I can. With no effort (1) I reach the top floor. People are waking up, there is clothes and bags all over. I nearly trip on it but manage to steady myself. Next minute, I'm out by the window.  My car's parked below. An old woman is waiting next to it, asking me to give her a lift. No time to discuss, I help her get in (2). As I drive out of the parking, I can hear the siren getting closer. I get on the main road but damn, there is a toll. I know the police can get me there. If I stop, I'm screwed. So I, simply, decide to teleport myself, the old lady and the car to my place. Easy!
I help her getting out of the car and in my American style, little white wooden house. Then carefully place the poster in the living room. How great is it? His Irish features, drunken eyes, crazy hair and sweet I-can't-be-arsed smile, facing me.
The old lady has disappeared in the kitchen, probably to prepare some tea. I walk upstairs, push my bedroom door and see Alexander Michael Karev, himself, lying on my bed. This is turning into a very, very good day indeed.
I, obviously!, jump on the bed next to him. We start talking (3) about anything and everything before getting to the sex topic. I am now quite hopeful that this will turn into something good (and I mean sex, so we're clear). But (and this is one of the but I hate) as soon as he puts a hand on me. My f*****g alarm rings!! Unbelievable! Talk about waking up frustrated.
 

(1) I wish!
(2) ok it's more like pushing her in really :s
(3) seriously? talking?!